You write, and you write and you write and you think, ‘this is going to be amazing!’ And then...you don’t finish. The big question is, ‘why?’ Is it because you got busy, or because you lost interest, or because of something else?
I started my memoir over two years ago and as I began writing it was very private, but as the storyline began to come together, and the components of it were starting to fit into place I was getting more and more excited until…I became scared.
The more people I told the more worried I was about publishing it, and the more worried I was the less I wrote, eventually I just stopped writing. A short while back I decided that my story would in fact inspire someone and I needed, for myself to pick up and write. And so I did.
With the support of publisher, Sheena Blake, my journey re started. What a journey it has been. For those following along you know that we have filmed my first editing session live on Facebook. It was, to say the very least, intense.
I was scared. Not so much for my story to be heard but for whom would react to it. I decided to write this blog post for those people and for the author’s out there who are struggling with the same limiting beliefs.
My story is powerful, it’s raw and it’s likely going to be hurtful to some of those around me. The response went both ways in my case, as I assume it will if you choose to publish your story.
Some of the comments I received stated that I should be careful of what I say, or that I should be sure not to implicate anyone, or that I should worry for my children.
For a very brief moment, I wanted to pull the video down and so I had to ask myself the hard question of ‘why?’ Why would these specific people not want my story told. When I thought long and hard about each of their comments I realized some of them probably felt their own shame for their role in my life. And some of them were genuinely concerned based on their own beliefs. Some people just don’t want others to be in the spotlight and some simply have nothing better to do.
I chose to continue and continue writing. If you are an author who is afraid of what other’s may think, I hope you will learn from my journey.
To those of you who may feel shame, embarrassment or guilt, I encourage you to look at that, and look at why. Make a mense with yourself because I have moved on and healed.
To those of you who are genuinely concerned, know that this is a healing journey and that I am proud to tell my story.
To those of you who just want fame, I encourage you to stand up and speak out about your story because it too, can make a difference.
And of course, to those of you who have nothing better to do…I encourage you to look deep within yourself, find your passion and begin to live the beautiful life you deserve.
Writers, publishing your manuscript is scary, but please do not hold back. I have received countless phone calls, messages, and emails from women who have been sexually assaulted and who wish they had the courage to speak about it. I AM PROUD to be a voice that others cannot be. I AM PROUD to be someone they recognize and I AM EXCITED that they will hopefully find strength and courage to heal through my story.